15/10/18

and now you're not here anymore.

...

A few days before my trip and I cannot feel worse with myself.
And all because of words of someone important.
Since when we have all that regrets inside? Making you feel like nothing, like you are a terrible and selfish person.

Like I never care about anything else but me when we know that's not how it is.

The distance can change things and the fact that we don't speak every day and every hour doesn't mean I don't care.

Things to do in Canada

-See a bear

-See a beaver

-See an eagle

-See a wolf

-See a deer

-See a moose

-Meet Chloe ~his cat~

-Go to a hockey game

-See the royal canadian police

-See a totem

-Go to the movies and eat popcorn

-Eat a Wendy's burger

-Eat syrup in a typical breakfast

-Eat poutine

-Buy presents for my family

-Celebrate Halloween

september

And September has come.
At the end of August I found a job, a really shit one but it's ok, at least is some money coming to my account.
Working without stop, my volunteering job at the charity and the coffee shop, it was a non-stop. On top of that a friend came to visit and because was my birthday and some drama about my trip to Canada.

I ended writing down all the things that I should do and is quite a few this month. I needed to organize a little bit...

-Send a present to a friend in New Zealand (waiting for my family package)

-Send a present to G in Canada (waiting for my family package) 

-Buy some presents for G's family

-Go to the bank and tell them when I'm leaving the country in case they decide to cancel my card if I use it in Canada

-Buy a charger for my phone

-Give my notice a week before leaving the job

-Start getting ready my luggage and that means clean my stuff and send what I don't need back home

-Find a place to leave my small suitcase and guitar

Once I get to Canada I need to buy an adapter for my laptop and for my phone and buy a SIM card. I'll have 4 hours between flight and flight so, I think I have time enough to buy that. Just quite worried about customs but should be fine (I hope).

About the month, a friend came visiting and I didn't have too much time to spend with her (I just work all the time) but we did a little trip up to Inverness and  we walked a little bit around the old town here in Edinburgh, she couldn't walk too much without getting tired so we take it easy doing little things around and one day we just start watching Stranger Things until we finished the first season. I miss to watch things with someone :(
My birthday was in September 11 and my friend T gave me a few presents, Jane Eyre manga, an Alice in wonderland mirror and a cat with glitter inside for use as make-up. The people from the hostel gave me chocolate, cards and a cake (quite creepy one but...) with pasta for my name and the candles were matches inside the pasta.

And the story about my jobs... I don't like how it work the things in the hostel. I lived in a few hostels in the last 2 years and 'till now this is the worst hostel that I've been, Why? because of the head cleaner, she thinks that we don't have a life outside the hostel and she needs to know what we do at all moment, if we want a day off (we do 2 hours at day) and we have enough hours she want to know that day that we don't want to work and even if we write it in the book, she want you to go and tell her. It annoying me, that obsession to know what we do and when. And she always complain in how we do things so, she's never happy about anything. The people leaves and she wonders why, I think is obvious is because of her.
My shitty job... I like the people but half of them are gone already, and I'm a KP so the job is killing my back and my skin, it looks quite bad and my hands are hurting all the time. The stupid thing is that no one covers me in my break so, what's the point to take a break if when I go back is gonna be double job to do? Is stupid and I get really tired when I'm working because people don't help me, they want me to bring everything to them when I'm doing more stuff... anyway, when I publish this entry will be just a few days left but now is two weeks and it feels forever.

Anyway, at the moment nothing else happen and I don't think it will change, just work and work~

Flying Witch -anime-

I wanted to talk a little bit more about this anime that I recently finished. I'm gonna post about it in my principal blog but is not gonna be very long the comment so, here we are.

Name: Flying Witch

Episodes: 12 

Seasons: 1 

Year: 2016

Where to watch it: 9Anime

Makoto Kowata is a young witch who is moving with some relatives in Aomori from Yokohama because of her training. She remember the place from when she was little but she's always lost so, going to the house she start playing with snow in the road and her cousin Kei find her.

In general is a really quiet anime, I cannot say what is about because nothing really happen, just situations during her day by day. Also is really easy to watch, the animation is nice and with enough details. 

I like how they make the most 'magical' things really normal and that it can really happen. No one is really surprise about that she's a witch.

Talking about the characters we have Makoto, a sweet and clumsy girl, Kei, he don't have much to do with the magic but he's good about plants and cook, Chinatsu want to be a witch and she convince Akane (Makoto's old sister), the parents aren't very important for the story and is a few second characters but they don't do nothing important. No one change during the episodes, is just a little bit of a people's life. 

Is based on a manga with 6 volumes and I don't know if they gonna make another season or not. Not too much but is easy to watch if you don't want to think too much. 

thinking about...

Drama and more drama.
Basically about the future. When I came back to Edinburgh I started working with the agency and I though I could have more hours because of the festival but no. So I've been looking for job, a shitty one and easy to get (and for some reason is not that easy).
My plan B is basically if I don't find anything, just volunteer in the cafe and charity shop, I get free meals from both and I don't pay accommodation so I can survive for a month.

And because of that I've been thinking about the future. About what I'm gonna do when I come back from Canada. 
I spoke with a few friends and one is in the same situation than me, I'm surprise about her confidence, I wish I can be like that. And my other friend gave me good advice, I think I really gonna move to Glasgow (she want me to move to Aberdeen where she lives) and finally live in a house, no more hostels. I still don't know whats gonna happen in Canada and how everything gonna end between us but... I will spend some more time in the UK.
Anyway, even if I need to save some more money living in a hostel for a month I think is worth it. This friend told me that she was doing jobs that she don't like until she found the job that she's currently in. And about how we still doing shit jobs like we just came to the country even though our english is good and we are qualified for better jobs. So, shitty job for a little bit more in Edinburgh or Glasgow and then move to a house and have a job that I can enjoy. It depends of the accommodation too and how much money I have.
This is a little bit like the milk woman's story but is what I wanna do and better if I have it clear. Sometimes you need to tell someone or just say it out loud or write it somewhere to make it feel real.

Violet Evergarden -anime-

I decided to watch this anime after a few comments saying that the animation was really pretty and that it was a nice and quiet anime. And I needed that but I end crying because it was more sad than I expected.

Name: Violet Evergarden

Episodes: 13 episodes + OVA

Seasons: 1

Year: 2018
Where to watch it: Netflix and 9Anime

Violet is in the hospital after the war, she was a weapon and she lost her arms after that. But it seems that she don't really mind, she's getting used to the new mechanic arms and is trying to write a letter to her Major. But is not him who comes to bring her home. Now Violet needs to find out what the Major's last words mean, I love you.

The memories of the war and how Violet have to live with the past and start learning about her own emotions, becoming a Doll writing letters for others.

The animation was really pretty, the clothes, the landscapes, the details in the city, everything with nice colors. The design for the characters I quite like it even though the other Dolls are not very interesting or deep characters, in 13 episodes I think is not enough and everything is about Violet's development, and I think it happens quite fast, but when she knows what happen to the Major it wasn't any other way.

The last episodes are sad, basically is a country after the war so many of the stories and letters are about someone loved who is dead.
But at the end is when Violet has to front the war again, when a group of rebels want to take back what is theirs and she has to protect her friends.

I know it has an OVA that I didn't watch yet and a movie that will be released in 2020.