future plans?

It is not a secret that I would like to leave and move to Canada (if possible) but the situation is not easy, the pandemic we are going through, the economic crisis, my family drama... I want to study more so I will be better prepared to get a good job somewhere but... 

My godmother thinks marriage is the only answer and the only way. I do not mind a distant relationship, yes, it is difficult sometimes but, what? It does not mean than now that they have open the borders I need to leave everything and run there. She is making me fell like I have to leave tomorrow or even better, RIGHT NOW.  

So basically she's been planning my wedding and my life as a wife, she started giving me stuff for the future house that I do not have and honestly, I don't want to carry all that things to wherever I'll move. There are too many heavy things that are gonna be super expensive to send or to carry. Would not be easy to buy the stuff you need once you are there?

Since my mom passed away, my godmother thinks she can tell me what to do or how to do things and honestly, it is a bit stressful sometimes because she has a really old fashioned way to see things. 

So my life is been a bit stressful since she decided to give me all the stuff and keep talking and making decisions for me. I actually felt sick because of it. 

copycat

It's a bit weird when after you're not friends with someone anymore, that person starts copying you. 

All of a sudden she likes classic books, tarot and magic in general, shows and movies she never mentioned she liked when you were friends and they were your favourites... isn't it weird? 

She even got the same tarot decks as you! (and now there are as many tarot decks as you can imagine). And some of the characters you've been a fan of, she likes them now. Is like she is trying really hard to have things in common with you so you can talk again. 

Saying how much she likes your clothes (next thing to copy?) and talking about past times when you both were little. 

Now she started an instagram account trying to talk about the same things as you. What will be next?

another summer

And here we are again, because it's too warm I do not like to go out much so I'm spending my time fixing things around the house and watching movies and doramas. I'm trying to watch more anime so maybe one day I'll have watch all the ones from my list but that day is not close yet. 

Anyway, a few things that I've been watching~ period movies, I would like to watch all the adaptations of Jane Austen's novels and maybe some of L. M Montgomery's but no rush. So far I didn't find any of Mansfield Park that I like and it's a book I enjoyed but I feel like they cannot make Fanny like how she is in the book and that bothers me. I still have to watch the 1983 adaptation though. 

The korean drama that I'm enjoying a lot is True Beauty, it is quite... obvious and easy to know what is gonna happen but I'm liking it, is easy to watch and I do not need to think too much, and on my bad days it helps me to forget about everything else. 

About books and that I'm currently reading Scarlet, second part of The Lunar Chronicles. To be honest I would have liked it more if I read it 10 years ago but it's ok. I might finish the series because I do not like to leave things unfinished. The next book I want to read is The 10th Kingdom, I watched the series many years ago and the book does not seem very difficult and well, I was obsessed with the series ^^U 

I would like to reread Gone with the wind but I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish it before summer ends so we will see. 

This years is not as warm as other ones I remember but it is still annoying. The thing is that I didn't read or watch anything about vampires like my usual go to in summer. 

I would have like to visit some villages around mine but I didn't because I do not have a car or a driving license but it's ok, I'll manage something. I went a few times to the city but because I had an appointment with the dentist and because I wanted to buy some presents for all the birthdays that I have coming up in September. Mine too, that's exciting because I am planning in a short trip to see a friends (birthday in september too) and because I want to go with my twin to buy books like we used to do with our mom when our birthday was coming. 

Anyway, we will see how everything goes this month, not expecting much besides the second appointment at the dentist... (had to remove my wisdom teeth) and some family meetings. 

recount of 2020 and mid- 2021

Like always, it's been a while. To be honest, I haven't been super busy but I just don't find time to write here, I have my main blog, tasks to do during the day, cats and lots to read and watch. Sadly I don't have many books I haven't read in my house (I mean, my house is full of books but I'm not really interested in my dad's books, I'm not a big fan of science fiction).

On the other hand I've been watching korean dramas, I used to watch japanese dramas but I think the quality of the korean ones is better, I don't know. I remember it took me 2 years to finish Kill me, Heal me because I was living in Scotland and I didn't have time... maybe because it took me too long to watch it I didn't enjoy it much. But some of the ones I watched this past year I really enjoy them~ 

-Romance is a Bonus Book

-Strong girl Bong Soon

-Hotel del Luna

They are all available on Netflix ^^ I watch Love Alarm but I didn't like it, I could not believe in that love story at all ¬¬ (I'm finish watching the second season though). Witch's Love was disappointing too and then Memories of the Alhambra was good but not one of my favourites.  

This year I watched a few already, Lovestruck in the city which I didn't enjoy as much as I thought, Love Alarm 2 and Rookie Historian Goo Hae-Ryung that I actually really liked. I am currently watching True Beauty and I think this last two are my favourites so far of this year. 

During winter is time to pick the olives so we have olive oil during the year. Is not a nice work out in the field, I remember I had more fun when I went with my family but since my mom passed away it's not the same. I'm not very strong so there's a lot of things I cannot do and I need help with so I feel like I bother everyone because I cannot carry the things all around the fields alone. But we did it all in December and it's finally done. I´m scared thinking about this year tho. 

And taking about Christmas, I don't really like this celebration but we always set up the tree, my twin and I made soap and candles for everyone. There's not many of us so we made some extra ones for a few neighbors. I really like candles so I wanted to buy a lot but my twin told me to make them myself so yep, here I am making candles. 

What else? I got more presents than I thought and because of the restrictions we could not celebrate so we spent the night watching Nightmare before Christmas and eating a homemade pizza. Not bad, it was quiet and nice. 

This new year is not very different from the past so far. Restrictions and more difficulty to move anywhere else. I don't like living here in Spain and I would like to leave but yeah, it's not easy so I'll wait. Meanwhile I might start studying something but we will see.

I made a list of books I wanted to read because I received some as Christmas presents~ 

-Una corte de rosas y espinas

-Cinder 

-Scarlet

-Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the looking-glass

-El retrato de Dorian Grey

-Drácula

-Anne of green gables

-Anne of Avonlea

-Anne of the island

-Anne of Windy Poplars 

-Anne's House of dreams 

-Anne of Ingleside

-Rainbow Valley 

-Rilla of Ingleside

To be fair I almost finish all of them and I've been reading a lot that weren't on the list. And even though I enjoyed a lot Anne's books, I do not want to keep reading at the moment, I feel that her situation in Windy Poplars is somehow similar on my situation so when things keep moving on in my life I'll keep reading Anne's adventures. 

Changing a bit the subject...

Summer is not my favourite thing but, so far is not that bad, I wanted to make the terrace in our house somewhere pretty to sit down and watch the stars and well, it's not going bad, almost done really. And my birthday is in two months so I'm excited about that. 

Next time I think I'll talk about my favourite dramas so far and books~ 

time goes by

It's been a while. 

I'm not very regular writing here but I don't feel like I have to, this is just for fun and to practice my english.

I didn't do much lately, finish my studies, buying presents for Christmas, trying to get in touch with friends that I cannot see anymore because we don't live near or in the same country, spend time picking the olives...
It got cold and we could say goodbye to an endless summer.

In the other hand, I've been sad, it's been a year already and in general I think things could go better but I feel stuck and nothing is moving. Most of my plans and dreams are gone now because is too late.

Feelings are not the same after a while and I don't know how to fix it. I think is time for a change.

summer again

I hate summer for a bunch of reasons... the heat, the insects, the kids on holidays and the fact that I don't have holidays but... whatever, I lived with that. 

Summer is almost gone (I want to be in autumn already) and I couldn't think in any entry here, I had at least 4 entries in my other blog but I don't know, I didn't want to think much. 

My summer was pretty much reading books and watching shows cause I cannot go out when is hot, it really damage my skin and I pretty much passed out if I stay too long under the sun. 

Other years i got obsessed with vampires (maybe cause I couldn't go out) and this year was fairies for some reason and I read a few books about that. 

About the shows I enjoy How I meet your mother (and I manage to finish), Chilling adventures of Sabrina and The Boys. I watched more but I finished this three, if not this list would be too long.

On the other side, I've been cleaning all my stuff and that means throwing away things or donate. I think we have many things that we don't use and it's quite useless having all that things. 

I would really like to redecorate everything but I think I'll be moving (hopefully) and my room will be not my room anymore. We've been kinda redecorating our terrace but we still on it, I hope it looks cozy and clean because it was kind of a mess up there.

Other things that I enjoy lately (let's not gonna talk just about bad things) are the ice cream, music and stars even though I haven't saw any shooting star. I still having time~ I used to miss to see the stars when I moved to Scotland and now that I'm back I never go out to see them...

not welcome

It feels quite terrible knowing that anything you do is wrong. If you clean because you clean or because you don't and if you cook because you cook or because you don't. I'm tired.

Not to feel welcome in your house and trying to find a way to escape and getting everything ready in case.

Is sad when you don't feel that you have a place to go back.

fake

How easy is to believe in everything that someone you meet on the internet says. How could you imagine that that person is lying to you? And it hurts more when the worst situation you could lived happens.
When you lost someone and then a loved person start lying in your face about a situation you we're expecting. And he cannot see that that person just wants money and that words about love are fake. I think is easy to see it but he's blind and I'm tired. 

cats and books

Nothing really interesting happens in my life lately. The only three things that I'm really interested for are my cat, the two books and three mangas that I order online and the special episode in Corazón de Melón.

My cat was pregnant and even tho she looks young she should be around 10 years old (it was the vet who told us that) but she had some problems at the moment of the birth. She spend almost a full day to have two dead kitties and that was quite depressing. She was still bleeding so we went to the vet the next morning. I was really worried for my cat and as we expected, she had another kitty inside. She had a surgery and I knew how that was because other of our cats had the same problem years ago, I could't help it and I started crying.
She was pretty good at the clinic and didn't cause any trouble. It didn't took too long either, in about an hour we went back to the vet and they we're done. Yami was already inside the... box? (whatever the name is in english) with some towels and a bottle with hot water.
It was quite fun to see her trying to walk but the same afternoon she was feeling well and jumped to the sofa and then running upstairs to sleep in my bed (with the hot water bottle).
Take care of her scar and give her the medication twice a day, she is a really good girl and is not giving us problems. In a week (this next saturday) we'll go to the vet to check and hopefully she is completely fine.
I was tired and sick with a horrible headache for days but I'm feeling better (thanks god, I didn't want to go to the doctor), I guess I was too nervous or something.

In the other hand, I bought two books like I said, Laila Winter y la maldición Ithirie and Laila Winter y el corazón de las sombras, the last two and I finally can finish the series. The three mangas are Sailor Moon vol. 7, 8 and 9, it's been almost a year since i bought the other six in the box set. Can anyone believe that the second box set is around 163 pounds? ò_ó
They'll arrive this month (I really hope so) and I bought all that because of how worried I was for my cat and because I'm gonna spend Valentines day alone. Yay me.

And about the special chapter in Corazón de Melón I'm doing fine at the moment, it'll be open for 6 more days so we'll see how it goes.

XV The Devil

new year

Since I came back I've been trying not to think in what happened because I just start crying. Things were not supposed to end like this and now it don't hurt that much but still.

I  cannot find the words to describe how I feel.

And the new year came.
It cannot be as bad as last year for sure but I still don't know what I'm gonna do or when. I guess I'm just too tired to think and make any decision about the future.

So many ideas 'cause is easy to dream about everything.

september

And September has come.
At the end of August I found a job, a really shit one but it's ok, at least is some money coming to my account.
Working without stop, my volunteering job at the charity and the coffee shop, it was a non-stop. On top of that a friend came to visit and because was my birthday and some drama about my trip to Canada.

I ended writing down all the things that I should do and is quite a few this month. I needed to organize a little bit...

-Send a present to a friend in New Zealand (waiting for my family package)

-Send a present to G in Canada (waiting for my family package) 

-Buy some presents for G's family

-Go to the bank and tell them when I'm leaving the country in case they decide to cancel my card if I use it in Canada

-Buy a charger for my phone

-Give my notice a week before leaving the job

-Start getting ready my luggage and that means clean my stuff and send what I don't need back home

-Find a place to leave my small suitcase and guitar

Once I get to Canada I need to buy an adapter for my laptop and for my phone and buy a SIM card. I'll have 4 hours between flight and flight so, I think I have time enough to buy that. Just quite worried about customs but should be fine (I hope).

About the month, a friend came visiting and I didn't have too much time to spend with her (I just work all the time) but we did a little trip up to Inverness and  we walked a little bit around the old town here in Edinburgh, she couldn't walk too much without getting tired so we take it easy doing little things around and one day we just start watching Stranger Things until we finished the first season. I miss to watch things with someone :(
My birthday was in September 11 and my friend T gave me a few presents, Jane Eyre manga, an Alice in wonderland mirror and a cat with glitter inside for use as make-up. The people from the hostel gave me chocolate, cards and a cake (quite creepy one but...) with pasta for my name and the candles were matches inside the pasta.

And the story about my jobs... I don't like how it work the things in the hostel. I lived in a few hostels in the last 2 years and 'till now this is the worst hostel that I've been, Why? because of the head cleaner, she thinks that we don't have a life outside the hostel and she needs to know what we do at all moment, if we want a day off (we do 2 hours at day) and we have enough hours she want to know that day that we don't want to work and even if we write it in the book, she want you to go and tell her. It annoying me, that obsession to know what we do and when. And she always complain in how we do things so, she's never happy about anything. The people leaves and she wonders why, I think is obvious is because of her.
My shitty job... I like the people but half of them are gone already, and I'm a KP so the job is killing my back and my skin, it looks quite bad and my hands are hurting all the time. The stupid thing is that no one covers me in my break so, what's the point to take a break if when I go back is gonna be double job to do? Is stupid and I get really tired when I'm working because people don't help me, they want me to bring everything to them when I'm doing more stuff... anyway, when I publish this entry will be just a few days left but now is two weeks and it feels forever.

Anyway, at the moment nothing else happen and I don't think it will change, just work and work~

thinking about...

Drama and more drama.
Basically about the future. When I came back to Edinburgh I started working with the agency and I though I could have more hours because of the festival but no. So I've been looking for job, a shitty one and easy to get (and for some reason is not that easy).
My plan B is basically if I don't find anything, just volunteer in the cafe and charity shop, I get free meals from both and I don't pay accommodation so I can survive for a month.

And because of that I've been thinking about the future. About what I'm gonna do when I come back from Canada. 
I spoke with a few friends and one is in the same situation than me, I'm surprise about her confidence, I wish I can be like that. And my other friend gave me good advice, I think I really gonna move to Glasgow (she want me to move to Aberdeen where she lives) and finally live in a house, no more hostels. I still don't know whats gonna happen in Canada and how everything gonna end between us but... I will spend some more time in the UK.
Anyway, even if I need to save some more money living in a hostel for a month I think is worth it. This friend told me that she was doing jobs that she don't like until she found the job that she's currently in. And about how we still doing shit jobs like we just came to the country even though our english is good and we are qualified for better jobs. So, shitty job for a little bit more in Edinburgh or Glasgow and then move to a house and have a job that I can enjoy. It depends of the accommodation too and how much money I have.
This is a little bit like the milk woman's story but is what I wanna do and better if I have it clear. Sometimes you need to tell someone or just say it out loud or write it somewhere to make it feel real.

summer and other things

I moved back to Edinburgh at the beginning of July. Sometimes I wonder if I did right but, too late to have regrets. Because in Inverness I had a job (housekeeper... job that no one likes) and free accommodation with lovely people in a hostel.
I felt quite lonely though because my friend, the one who asked me to go back, change and I didn't see her, almost 2 or 3 times in 2 months.

When I arrived I was in a hostel and then I moved to other one to work for the accommodation, I'm a volunteer and to be honest I don't mind, is not gonna be for long. That's what I said for the last 2 years but now is for real, hopefully I can move into a room around November, didn't know which city yet.
Anyway, at the beginning was weird because everything works different but I get used to and my bed is one of the best in the room, next to the window with the lockers at the end of the bed and next to the wall.
A friend moved with me not too long ago (and he keep asking when I'm leaving because he wants my bed) and other friend came back to the city, now with the Fringe should be easy to make money and I really hope so, I bought a flight ticket to see my boyfriend after a year, visa stuff and that so... quite annoying but for the moment is fine between us and I miss him a lot.

At the moment I'm working in a temporary job agency and I'm volunteering in a coffee shop, the hostel and a charity shop in the book part, I'm the 'book-worm'. Everything for make my cv better and have more job opportunities.
I don't have too much time to think in that I'm gonna cross the world to see him, what things should I take with me and what I'm gonna say when I see him again.
I will publish my list with 'Things that I want to do in Canada' before I leave but I have plenty of time, is in October.

So, I'm quite busy but in my free time I usually watch a lot of shows and anime, I'm trying to watch more lately but just animes with 12 episodes, I'm too lazy to start a long one. I might put something about that in here, I'm still not sure what I want to do with the blog but because of the movies and shows takes a lot of my time I might talk about it.
By the way, this blog is gonna be full of Sailor Moon but... it takes the worst of me xD some seasons are shit but, whatever.

After almost a year, a friend contact me, I didn't expect it and it was because the guy that she try to match with me was back in the city... no, thanks. But life was busy so, no time to think.

I'm gonna keep trying to apply for a full time job, hopefully I can get one even if is just for the fringe it's ok, I don't spend that much and I just want to save a little bit more before my travel. Looks like everything that I'm doing this year is for him but, to be honest, since he left I didn't know what to do or what I wanted to do.

about this

The main reason that I create a new blog is because I really liked this design for blogger and the second reason was basically to practice more english. I'm not sure how often I'm gonna publish in here but... we'll see.

I feel like my other blog is different from when I start, that I cannot say all that I want and even though I'm gonna write something similar I want to be more honest because I don't really expect to people to read me.
Anyway, we'll see how long I can handle it.

And about the name is because I like chai latte and the moon so, I think is a good name :)